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How to Talk to a Girl you like the First Time

It’s always nerve – wracking to approach or talk to a girl you like for the first time. However, most girls in Nigeria want to see your confidence when you talk to them. Just walk up with courage to speak to her, there’s a chance she’ll listen to you. When you finally get her attention, don’t make the moment boring just use a question or statement to break the ice and spark a conversation. Start by looking at her body language to figure out when to approach her, this is very important.

How to Talk to a Girl you like the First Time
Young man talking to a Girl

Read: Things you should never say to your Partner – and what to say instead

How to Talk to a Girl the first time

Just say something to get the conversation going

The moment you get her attention start up a conversation because the longer you wait to say something, the more likely you won’t say anything special or sound brilliant just start the conversation. A simple “Hello” can do it.

Say something about what you both have in common to spark her interest.

Whether you believe it or not, you there must be one thing you have in common with everyone you met. You just have to look around you and figure out what it is. Find something you can use to start up a conversation. It doesn’t have to be anything big. If you are in a bar, you might say, “There’s nothing like a cold glass of wine on a hot day, and is there?”

Request something from her to encourage her to like you

No, don’t go up and start asking for money. Rather ask her for a small favour. It’s seems somehow, but when you ask for a favour, they want to give it to you. In fact, it tends to make them like you more. Keep it simple like “Could you pass the ice bucket? Or “would you mind giving that straw over there?”

Read: 25 Important Tips to Finding True Happiness in Relationship or marriage

Try and calm yourself down if you are feeling a little anxious with a deep breath

It’s always natural to feel butterflies before you go and talk to a girl you like. If you are nervous try taking deep breaths. Just close your eyes and breathe in through your nose to the count of 4. Hold it for 4 counts, and then breathe out to the count of 4. Make sure you are taking deep breaths from your abdomen area. Do this breathing exercise a few times to help calm your nerves. Take few minutes to bolster yourself. Tell yourself, you can do it! Put in perspective. What’s the worst that could happen? If she doesn’t want to talk to you, it will hurt but it would not mean a whole lot. So I must do talk to her.

Continue the conversation by responding to her statements

You have to go back and forth when talking to the girl you like. If she says something in response to your statement or question asking for a favour, talk back to her. Try to keep the conversation going and make the topics happy and cheerful because this is your first meeting. For example, she might say “Yes cold or chilled wine is the best for the weather! As it cool me down from the inside! You could say, “I know but what’s your favorite type of wine”.

Read: 7 Tips to Make your Relationship Last Until Marriage

Stay confident to show you’re interested

When starting up a conversation with a girl for the first time, you may start to lack confidence but don’t read meaning in what she is saying in a negative way. If you can combat those thoughts keep smiling and asking questions. Stand up all, hold your confidence and speak with a clear voice. Most girls find confidence attractive. Even if you are not feeling confident, faking confidence is often enough. Plus, faking it with body language will make you find more confident. There should be no much silent minutes during the conversation, but don’t talk too much. Make her feel comfortable around you and don’t be over confident in yourself.

Use open – ended questions to continue the conversation

Open-ended question is just one that makes her give an answer besides “Yes” or “No”. It lets her talk about herself, which she will likely be happy to do as long as she is not too shy. For instances, instead of asking, “Do you like watching movies?” you could ask “what’s your favorite movie?” If she give you a short answer, ask her a follow-up question, like “who’s your favorite actor or actress?”

Read: How to Find a Lover on Facebook

Talk about yourself honestly

When she ask you about yourself, answer them politely and honestly. Don’t answer too proudly or arrogantly because most girls don’t like arrogant guys. So while you don’t want to drone on about yourself, the conversation should go back and forth.

Don’t try to stare her down!

If you catch her gaze, hold it for a few seconds while you smile at her. If she holds it too, she may be showing signs of interest in you. So you are making good progress. Watch for other signs of positive body language. Positive body language shows she may be open to talking, to you. You may see or notice she point her body you direction or that she has uncross her arms or legs. She might playing with her hands or hair.

Or if you see negative body language like her crossing her limbs, turning away from you, holding her body stiffly, frowning her face or looking off to the side or answer you questions with no sign of interest. You man want wait or try to approach her another time. Wait for another opportunity if she look like she is having a bad day. Even through to her, it is not the best time to talk to her when she is not in the right frame of mind. She may not be in the mood to reciprocate what how you wanted her to reply. Just wait for an opportunity to approach her in her right frame of mind.

When you talk with a girl listen to what she has to say

Conversation is about give and take make to focus on what she is actually saying so that you respond to her properly. If you are not listening to her, the conversation will not last as you wanted it to. Don’t just be talking about yourself encourage to talk about herself also.

End the conversation on a positive note

If things are going on according to plan, try to set up something or say something that will be needed to be discussed or talk about another time. You can set up a medium of communication by asking her for number so that you can call her or text. Or ask for her social media handle so that you can chat her up to follow up with the discussion. You could also open up the possibility for hanging out some other time. For example, you might say “Hey, you feel like getting a chilled wine some other time?”

Lastly while it can be sad or depressing if a girl doesn’t want to talk to you, you still have to respect what she wants, leave her alone if she doesn’t want to talk. If she doesn’t want to talk with you or go out with you don’t take it personal, you don’t know what is going through her head right now. She may be worried about something you don’t know. Just go away and say “Thanks Anyways”.

Read: 10 Best Relationship Advice for Men


It is not always easy to start up a conversation with a girl the first time you meet her but when you follow these steps you will see that it’s a lot easier than you think.

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